When I first started researching my thesis topic, I spent a lot of time reading about girls and boys and how they engage with books, and what happens when boys like "girl" books and are taught they shouldn't. Having three young sons myself, I feel it is my duty to make sure they respect the stories from and about women, and recognize that they should understand the point of view of girls as much as girls understand the point of view of boys. Because of this, I paid close attention to Shannon Hale's school visit where only girls were invited and the social media debate over Andrew Smith's comments about female characters.
The deeper I dig into these issues though, what I am finding is the problem for the kids who don't identify in the neat and easy girl/boy split. These are the kids who might be gay, or queer, transgender, or don't yet know how they identify. When we say to these children that they have to fit into a neat box, no matter what, we are making their lives harder than they need to be. Over the weekend I watched this intensely powerful video about college students who don't fit into this two-sided binary of girls and boys, and what they wish their college professors knew.
The deeper I dig into these issues though, what I am finding is the problem for the kids who don't identify in the neat and easy girl/boy split. These are the kids who might be gay, or queer, transgender, or don't yet know how they identify. When we say to these children that they have to fit into a neat box, no matter what, we are making their lives harder than they need to be. Over the weekend I watched this intensely powerful video about college students who don't fit into this two-sided binary of girls and boys, and what they wish their college professors knew.
Part of what struck me about this video is how hurtful simple words can be. I know how often I use gendered phrases in talking to my students. I regularly use terms like "guys," "ladies," "boys," and "girls." Just this morning I found myself saying "Thank you, ma'am" to a young student who had just done a nice job of fixing some books that had fallen over on the shelf. Now, this child may not have noticed or cared that I said "ma'am" instead of something more neutral. In fact, my southern upbringing taught me well to "ma'am" and "sir" pretty much everyone out of respect. But I don't know how every student at my school identifies, and it isn't something that can be judged by looks.
I made a concerted effort for the rest of the day to cut out the gendered words I use unnecessarily, and it is difficult - hard even when I spent the day thinking about it. I found myself falling on the always useful "y'all" which my grandmother from Birmingham probably would have approved of. I am eager to dig deeper into the research about how we are serving our LGBTQ community, when something as simple as what you call someone can have such significance.